Episode 5 – The golf outing and the wonderful husband
– I see the lads are organising another golf outing.
– Where too?
– Gort, I think. Did you hear what happened on the last one in Adare?
– No. G’wan.
– We were in the clubhouse after the game of golf, we were waiting for the bus to come along and we were having a few pints the usual slagging after the game. This mobile phone was ringing over in the corner. It rang again. And again a third time.
– Next thing this fella ran in from the toilets and over to the phone. He answered it and put the phone on speaker with his back to all of us.
– “Darling, are you at the clubhouse? I’ve been window shopping and spotted a glorious leather jacket for €1,000 and it’s stunning on me.” says this female voice on the phone.
– ‘Oh go ahead, baby, get it now, I can’t wait to see you in it.’ says me man.
– “I was passing the Mercedes dealership on the way and they have the 161 model of that car in. It’s €76,000. What will I do?” says she.
– ‘Do you really like it?’ he asks.
– “I just love it” she responds.
– ‘Well for that money make sure you get all the extras’ he encouragingly replies.
– “Oh, and one more thing, do you remember that dream house over in the nice part of town?” she queried.
– The man was nodding and with a large smile beaming from ear to ear answered: ‘I do.’ Your wan on the other end could pick up on his enthusiasm.
– At this point now the whole clubhouse is in silence and everyone is doing their best to remain as quiet as possible. The barman had even turned down the TV where Ireland were playing England in the rugby. Not a sound nor movement was to be heard lest a vital piece of the conversation was obliterated.
– “It’s back on the market and they’re asking €680,000.” she cheers.
– ‘Okay baby, offer €600,000 and they might take it, if not go up in €25,000s to a max of €650k’ your man replies with gravity, t’isn’t the first house he’s bought.
– “Oh Darling your so generous, I love you so so much.” she adoringly claims.
– ‘You’re worth every penny’ says he.
– The whole clubhouse was staring at this fella. He hangs up the phone, stands up and looks around. He sees that every one in the room is ready to catch flies – their lower jaw has fallen so low. He holds up the phone and asks: ‘Any of you guys own this?’
brian lighthouse 