(Image courtesy of the Irish examiner)
BREAKFAST on March 18 will consist of two courses – paracetamol followed by the favoured hangover remedy. Explorations will begin to rediscover the essentials: keys, wallet and phone. Our collective headache will intensify as we stare blankly into depleted purses.
If you are a non-drinker, well you are simply not trusted in acceptable social circles. You manage to earn less than us and still own a nicer house and a better car. You can sit there soberly enjoying our intelligent coherent witticisms, all for the price of a bottle of fizzy drink.
There is a national debate looming gloomily over us. We will be forced to engage in angry discussions quite soon. One side will argue that cheap beer and the poor are the main perpetrators of negative activity that relates to alcohol. The other will fight for the chardonnay sippers to get as drunk as they like.
Alcohol is the third highest risk factor for premature death in the EU with more than 60 diseases – fatty liver, hepatitis and cirrhosis for example – linked to alcohol consumption. Experts believe that adolescents who consume alcohol can trigger miss-wiring in their developing brain.
The HSE compiled an in-depth report on the subject in 2008. Ten years of intense research into the harm that alcohol causes produced alarming statistics. Strikingly these figures have almost doubled since 1995.
- In 2004 there were 17,378 alcohol-related hospital discharges, compared to 9,254 in 1995.
- In 2004 almost half the people killed on our roads were between 9pm and 4am. Forty percent of all drivers killed were positive for alcohol.
- In 2004 there were over 12,000 drunk driving arrests. Nearly 21,000 adults were arrested for public drunkenness with over 2,000 juveniles.
- 28 percent of all injury attendances in the accident and emergency department were alcohol related.
- Almost half of murderers were intoxicated as they committed their crime.
- 44 percent of those questioned for a national survey had experienced harm by their own or someone elses use of alcohol.
On St. Patrick`s Day, I attempted some ethnographic research. I emerged from the house at 6pm. My intention: to count the number of drunken people I passed between my house and town.
I heard exhibit A, as I closed the front door. Thunderous pounding of thick rubber soles on concrete marked the beat for shrill voices laughing and shouting obscenities. A group of about 30 children passed by, heads raised as they roared past.
Two Gardaí were gaining on their prey of ten to 15 year-olds. The gaggle of children stopped in herd formation to catch their breath. Younger ones pranced around the elders, all eyes darting towards the approaching Gardaí.
The little herd was corralled and the captors quickly set to work grabbing vodka bottles, cider bottles and generic energy drinks. They smiled at each other as a child produced a sleeve of paper coffee cups from inside his jacket.
Two hundred yards down the road a girl of about 13 years-old was propped up by her friends. Her tiny frame purged the contents of her stomach onto the pavement. Devoid of solids, a little stream ran from her target area.
I arrived in town at about 630pm. The streets were quiet. In the distance, I spotted a huddle of men embraced with smoke; it reminded me of a scrum on a winter’s day. As I neared it was clear that these men had never played sport. I looked inside the pub.
A barman stared at me. His look suggesting that I had better be sober. I felt his anguish; he had another five hours of this. The bar owner noticed that I was not coming from another pub smiled and welcomed me in. I declined.
I walked through town to see similar sights. Smoking men and women were cladding the walls of the younger pubs. Coughing men were the flakes on the plaster of the older pubs. Everyone was drunk.
This was not a typical drinking day, where people might go for a few drinks. This was an entire city in a collective stupor. I was an outsider. I wasn`t plugged in to the city`s vibe.
I entered my favourite pub and said hello to everyone and everyone knows my name. I ordered a beer and talked to the staff. A good friend came in. We had another beer. Some more friends passed by, they spotted us and we all had another beer.
Our group had discovered where Declan Kidney went wrong. We had solved the financial crisis, not just in the EU, but globally. We were planning how to combat rising food prices when a round of drinks appeared.
I think we had decided that Messi is a far better player when another round of drinks appeared. Someone told a joke that I can`t remember as the final round was placed on the table.
As I reached for the paracetamol, I heard that Ireland`s inaugural National Alcohol Awareness Week organised by the Alcohol Forum began this morning.
I never heard of this “week” in any of the established media. I had not even heard a whisper on social media. I can only wonder why.
brian lighthouse 